My uni ball was last night, I was on the committee organising it, so was there for almost 5 hours in the morning and early afternoon setting the place up. It was awesome turning up 1/2 an hour before the ball started and seeing the transformation that had taken place since I had left to go get ready! It was absolutely amazingly stunning - the decorations, lighting and everything was soo much better than I could have hoped for. We ended up having a good amount turn up and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves.
The sad thing was, that although I had heaps of mates around me, good music, good food etc. I ended up not having all that much fun! It was actually really tough being there without a partner, there were way to many slow songs played for my liking and it just wasn't the same without someone there to dance with.
I did enjoy myself, I'm not saying that... I just found myself becoming very melancholic about it all. Slipping back into my old way of thinking about things as described in my earlier post. I guess it was testing my resolve to wait on God for everything... and it was testing me hard! I'm not feeling all down about it in the main, just every now and then when I'm watching my mates with their boyfriends/potential boyfriends, it hits me. But it's OK, I know it's in God's hands, but it's still .... hard.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Why all the problems???
Sometimes I wish that God didn't give me such a soft heart. But i don't really wish that, I wouldn't be the person that I am without that. But when I see people hurting, I hurt for them. And I don't just hurt I HURT. I've so often had those gut wrenching, lump in the throat, about to cry moments when I have friends pouring their heart out to me. I've even had an experience of my heart physically feeling as if it was tearing in two because of my anguish at the fact that there are so many hurting people in the world. It makes it hard for me sometimes, to go about my everyday life because I have so many burdens on my heart, so many people to worry about.
In fact I worry about the whole world. It's in a bad way, so many dying needlessly, so many killing merely because no one showed love to them, so many giving themselves away because that's all they think they can do, so many selling themselves for infinitely less than they are worth, so many with no choices, no freedoms, so many pressured into doing what they would never sanely do, merely because they don't know that there's another way, so many who have never heard of this other way.
I just can't stop feeling this way.
Here's a song/poem i wrote a while ago about this:
How can I look
around me
Without my heart
breaking
A life is lost,
another thrown away
I can't turn away
but I can't save them all
Only you
you give us hope
and you died
so the world could live
and rose again
victorious
over death and suffering
How can we sit here
waiting,
for the lost to come to you
You said Go to the world
How can we turn away
Only you
You give us hope
and you died
so the world could live
and rose again
victorious
over death and suffering
Copyright 2006 E.R.
I'll leave you with this verse:
James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
In fact I worry about the whole world. It's in a bad way, so many dying needlessly, so many killing merely because no one showed love to them, so many giving themselves away because that's all they think they can do, so many selling themselves for infinitely less than they are worth, so many with no choices, no freedoms, so many pressured into doing what they would never sanely do, merely because they don't know that there's another way, so many who have never heard of this other way.
I just can't stop feeling this way.
Here's a song/poem i wrote a while ago about this:
How can I look
around me
Without my heart
breaking
A life is lost,
another thrown away
I can't turn away
but I can't save them all
Only you
you give us hope
and you died
so the world could live
and rose again
victorious
over death and suffering
How can we sit here
waiting,
for the lost to come to you
You said Go to the world
How can we turn away
Only you
You give us hope
and you died
so the world could live
and rose again
victorious
over death and suffering
Copyright 2006 E.R.
I'll leave you with this verse:
James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
My placement!!!!!!! aaah scary
I'm on placement at the moment! What's that? some of you may ask. It's when training teachers go into a classroom in a school. The first placement is mainly for observation but they may do a little bit of teaching.
It's weird, I'm back at my old school! It's fun though, and I know the teachers and I know my way around too, which always helps.
I'm with a yr 5/6 class, so they are too old to be cute, but they are nice and the class is pretty well behaved and respectful.
Yesterday I swapped with one of the other Trainee's and spent the afternoon in the yr1 class - Oh my gosh! They are so adorable - I just want one to take home with me! And i got to teach them a song:
The Lord loves me
And all the wonders I see
A rainbow shines through my window
The Lord loves me
And the sang and did the actions looking all angelic and cherub-like! It was so cute.
I think this kind of age (yr 1 and 2) is what I'd like to teach - but I haven't hardly had experience teaching that age yet, so don't really know! I know i'd definitely need to develop some more patience before teaching this level - although i think i am more patient with children than I am with adults - because they aren't supposed to know the stuff - that's why we are teaching them!
Anyways, thanks for hanging around to hear me out!
See you,
Random Rambler
It's weird, I'm back at my old school! It's fun though, and I know the teachers and I know my way around too, which always helps.
I'm with a yr 5/6 class, so they are too old to be cute, but they are nice and the class is pretty well behaved and respectful.
Yesterday I swapped with one of the other Trainee's and spent the afternoon in the yr1 class - Oh my gosh! They are so adorable - I just want one to take home with me! And i got to teach them a song:
The Lord loves me
And all the wonders I see
A rainbow shines through my window
The Lord loves me
And the sang and did the actions looking all angelic and cherub-like! It was so cute.
I think this kind of age (yr 1 and 2) is what I'd like to teach - but I haven't hardly had experience teaching that age yet, so don't really know! I know i'd definitely need to develop some more patience before teaching this level - although i think i am more patient with children than I am with adults - because they aren't supposed to know the stuff - that's why we are teaching them!
Anyways, thanks for hanging around to hear me out!
See you,
Random Rambler
My Xtend Xperience!
Hey, I know you are all dying to hear how Xtend went!
For those of you who don't know, Xtend is a christian (predominantly Baptist) Youth camp that goes for one week in the june/july holidays at Otumotai (or however you spell that) Baptist Church and the surrounding churches and other venues.
All times are run on daylight saving to avoid having noise restrictions (so all these times are one hour earlier - real time)
A typical day looks like this:
before 8:45: Breakfast
Morning Meeting (worship, leaders testimonies)
Seminars (so many choices! some topics include; leadership, personality types, prayer, dating etc. etc. they are all really interesting!)
Small group study time ( work through similar to youth group studies - they are challenging and inspiring)
LUNCH TIME (one of the best times of the day!)
free time (for like 2 and a half hours - you can do anything you want! Roll down hills, go to town, go shopping etc.)
Workshops (more practical than seminars - craft, prayer for past hurts, recording a CD, visiting an old folks home, service project, art etc.)
Dinner
Evening meeting (worship, prayer, testimonies, response time - can go for hours but it doesn't feel like it goes that long!!)
SLEEP ( 5 hours if you are lucky)
So as you can see it's quite full on!!!!!!!! But it's so worth every minute of it - spending time with 230 young people passionate about God!
I know you are dying to here what I learnt, so here goes:
- I learnt that nothing should take the place of God as my goal in life (which has happened lately, sad to say it) I realised that lately I've been putting stuff like finding myself a good christian husband, succeeding in my education, my plans for the future, above serving my Lord! Not good, to say the least, so (one of my) missions now is to keep him at number one in my heart.
- I learnt that even when you don't feel that love for God you just need to keep going and worship him anyway!
- I learnt that so often we feel alone in our problem, but pretty much there will always be someone who has been through something similar.
- I learnt that we can't give up on God in the hard times ( I learnt this through helping a friend)
- I learnt that even a young NZ chick can make a difference, and I'm passionate about starting to do that!
If anyone wants to join an email list of people committed to praying for overseas missionaries and mission prayer requests - email me at farreachesoftheearth@gmail.com
Also if anyone is interested in Knitting squares to make into a blanket to go to Romanian orphans in Moldova ( i think that's the name) email me and I'll try sort that out.
- I learnt never to be ungrateful for what we have, even just waking up this morning is more than so many people in this world did.
For those of you who don't know, Xtend is a christian (predominantly Baptist) Youth camp that goes for one week in the june/july holidays at Otumotai (or however you spell that) Baptist Church and the surrounding churches and other venues.
All times are run on daylight saving to avoid having noise restrictions (so all these times are one hour earlier - real time)
A typical day looks like this:
before 8:45: Breakfast
Morning Meeting (worship, leaders testimonies)
Seminars (so many choices! some topics include; leadership, personality types, prayer, dating etc. etc. they are all really interesting!)
Small group study time ( work through similar to youth group studies - they are challenging and inspiring)
LUNCH TIME (one of the best times of the day!)
free time (for like 2 and a half hours - you can do anything you want! Roll down hills, go to town, go shopping etc.)
Workshops (more practical than seminars - craft, prayer for past hurts, recording a CD, visiting an old folks home, service project, art etc.)
Dinner
Evening meeting (worship, prayer, testimonies, response time - can go for hours but it doesn't feel like it goes that long!!)
SLEEP ( 5 hours if you are lucky)
So as you can see it's quite full on!!!!!!!! But it's so worth every minute of it - spending time with 230 young people passionate about God!
I know you are dying to here what I learnt, so here goes:
- I learnt that nothing should take the place of God as my goal in life (which has happened lately, sad to say it) I realised that lately I've been putting stuff like finding myself a good christian husband, succeeding in my education, my plans for the future, above serving my Lord! Not good, to say the least, so (one of my) missions now is to keep him at number one in my heart.
- I learnt that even when you don't feel that love for God you just need to keep going and worship him anyway!
- I learnt that so often we feel alone in our problem, but pretty much there will always be someone who has been through something similar.
- I learnt that we can't give up on God in the hard times ( I learnt this through helping a friend)
- I learnt that even a young NZ chick can make a difference, and I'm passionate about starting to do that!
If anyone wants to join an email list of people committed to praying for overseas missionaries and mission prayer requests - email me at farreachesoftheearth@gmail.com
Also if anyone is interested in Knitting squares to make into a blanket to go to Romanian orphans in Moldova ( i think that's the name) email me and I'll try sort that out.
- I learnt never to be ungrateful for what we have, even just waking up this morning is more than so many people in this world did.
My highlights:
Recording a song to CD!
Meeting a whole heap of fantastic people
Realising things that I can do to make a difference to those who have nothing
Helping friends to heal.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
A fantastic night spent with friends
Last night was my youth group formal dinner! I love getting all dolled up! It was great fun, even though not that many people turned up it was still a very enjoyable evening, we danced liked madwomen! Sorry I'll be AWOL this next week but I'm heading of to Xtend camp in Tauranga from monday to saturday - but I'll have lots to talk about when I get back!
Have great weeks Y'all!
Have great weeks Y'all!
Friday, July 07, 2006
Are we addicted to love?
Hey all my fans! (i know, i know, don't count your chickens before they've hatched, but y'know i like counting eggs!)
This isn't exactly what you'd expect from a first blog - but I think too much, so start expecting the unexpected!
Recently, I surrendered an attraction that I had to a good guy mate of mine, to God. Surrendered? I hear you asking. Yes, surrendered. God asked me to stop liking him, I don't fully understand why, but I think it was causing a distraction from my relationship with God. So I said, "OK God if that's what you want me to do, then help me to do it!" and He has! Now, that's all well and good, I've gotten over it and moved on. I even composed a picture on my cell phone that says "Jesus is the king of my heart, not any boy". Cheesy, I know, but I needed something that would keep reminding me about it, so that's what i did.
Now, I find myself, such a short time later, wistfully wishing that I had a special someone by my side, imagining the day of our wedding and so on and so forth. I wonder if maybe God doesn't want me to get married ever, I wish that I'd met 'the one'. Now, last night, after putting down the fantastic (christian) romance/suspense novel that i'd been reading (True Devotion, by Dee Henderson - I highly recommend it!) I got to thinking about my special someone (as described above), now I know you will probably say that it's just a girl thing, and maybe it is, maybe the phenomenon that i'm diagnosing is that widespread! I realised, I'm addicted to romance fantasy. True, it is a fantasy that may, hopefully, one day come true, but at the moment it's still a fantasy.
I started thinking about this even deeper, and I wondered, is this healthy? Is it healthy for a huge chunk of my time to be taken up by being distracted by someone I don't even know, someone that may not even ever come along. What do you think? Are you addicted to this romance fantasy too?
Signing out,
Random Rambler
This isn't exactly what you'd expect from a first blog - but I think too much, so start expecting the unexpected!
Recently, I surrendered an attraction that I had to a good guy mate of mine, to God. Surrendered? I hear you asking. Yes, surrendered. God asked me to stop liking him, I don't fully understand why, but I think it was causing a distraction from my relationship with God. So I said, "OK God if that's what you want me to do, then help me to do it!" and He has! Now, that's all well and good, I've gotten over it and moved on. I even composed a picture on my cell phone that says "Jesus is the king of my heart, not any boy". Cheesy, I know, but I needed something that would keep reminding me about it, so that's what i did.
Now, I find myself, such a short time later, wistfully wishing that I had a special someone by my side, imagining the day of our wedding and so on and so forth. I wonder if maybe God doesn't want me to get married ever, I wish that I'd met 'the one'. Now, last night, after putting down the fantastic (christian) romance/suspense novel that i'd been reading (True Devotion, by Dee Henderson - I highly recommend it!) I got to thinking about my special someone (as described above), now I know you will probably say that it's just a girl thing, and maybe it is, maybe the phenomenon that i'm diagnosing is that widespread! I realised, I'm addicted to romance fantasy. True, it is a fantasy that may, hopefully, one day come true, but at the moment it's still a fantasy.
I started thinking about this even deeper, and I wondered, is this healthy? Is it healthy for a huge chunk of my time to be taken up by being distracted by someone I don't even know, someone that may not even ever come along. What do you think? Are you addicted to this romance fantasy too?
Signing out,
Random Rambler
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